Feed Me

This thing with dog food. What brand do you feed to your dog? Beily is currently on Royal Canin and has been for the past 5 months or so. I am perfectly aware of it being far from the best dry-food out there, but it is unfortunately the best (I think) I am able to get here. I live in quite a small town and most people I know feed commercial dog foods to their dogs - basically whatever food they find at Walmart. I've done my research and I know more or less what I would have LIKED to feed my dog, but unfortunately the options are very few. From what I have found, checking with local vets and pet stores (which quite frankly, there aren't really any good pet stores in this town), the better options if I want to avoid commercial dog food is either Royal Canin or Purina Pro-Plan. I can't find a single store or vet that sells any other brands than these, I am sure it would have been different if I lived in a bigger city, but that is unfortunately not the case. I've tried both Royal Canin and Pro-Plan, but I think I like Royal Canin better out of the two. Opinions more than welcome. The only thing that I don't like is that I feel it sort of stains her teeth a little..! Once I get to the US I am hoping to be able to switch her up to a better dry-food, but here that seems to be the best I can get my hands on. I figure it must at least be better than the Walmart options... so I am simply in a situation where I take what I can get.

It is funny because, for example, Royal Canin is so expensive here that even the vet I bought it from recommended that I'd try to have it imported from the US instead, to save some money. That hasn't been possible though, so I've had to suck it up and pay the price. Besides that though I have to admit that I like giving Beily a little something extra in her food from time to time! I usually go with plain (unsweetened) yogurt on top, or sardines. Every now and then I turn into Owner of the Year and I give her canned salmon with her food, but usually I end up eating the salmon myself. Woopsie!

Early Morning

This morning I got up at 7am to take my dog out for a walk before it got too hot, and I discovered that it was already getting hot at that time. Seriously, that does suck in so many ways, since it really limits my ability to activate my dog properly. When it's too hot she doesn't even want to go outside, which is understandable. I think soon I will have to schedule to wake up and take her out at 6am.

A little while ago I walked into my room and found her sleeping on my bed, and I realized how big she has grown! It's funny how I haven't really noticed. Well, she's not exactly tall since her back reaches me to my knee more or less, but she is very long. When she stretches out, like right now on my bed, she basically takes up my whole bed! I have no idea how I fit in there with her every night..!

I wish I had a car so that I could drive over to D.C myself this summer. That way I would have been sure that we would actually be able to get there, and I wouldn't have had to be so dependent on others. Unfortunately though, I don't have a car, and renting a car PLUS pay for gas prices would be way more expensive than I can afford. Too bad. The girl who said she'd be up for the drive seems cool, but now since I haven't heard from her in a couple of days I am starting to worry again. It seems almost too easy, and I am just waiting for her to tell me that she can't/won't do it, or that she will simply stop replying. What do I do? Should I surrender and just book a flight ticket? I still feel really hesitant about the idea of flying my dog though, especially since there would be a lay-over somewhere along the way. I would be a nervous wreck, and I would worry that she would be left outside in the sun while waiting to be loaded onto the plane and things like that. There are just so many things that could go wrong. This whole plan with finding a ride by car to D.C is risky too, however, since there is no guarantee that the person that is to take me will live up to his/her promises, or that something won't happen at the last minute which would end up cancelling the trip.

Three Individuals, One Bed.

My best friend stayed over last night after a small get-together at my house, and since I only have one bed (a SMALL bed) there was no other option than to share. No problem, obviously, since we've shared everything during the years we've known each other for. We've lived together, travelled together, hung out basically 24/7... so sharing a small bed is something we've done several times. However, my dear furry dog decided that she too wanted to share the bed. Imagine me, my 6 ft (+) best friend and my 50 pound dog all fighting for the little space that there was. I would have thought it impossible, but we were all tired and it worked out really well in the end. Turned out to be quite cozy.

I was really proud of Beily last night. She used to be a hyperactive monster that got so over-excited when people came over that I had to put a leash on her or put her in another room, and now she has gone from that and onto becoming a calm and relaxed dog. I can't believe my best friend was able to sleep next to her without her being all over him and licking him in the face. I suppose it has to do with age too, since after all she hasn't even turned 2 yet. I'm just happy and proud to see that she is growing into such an awesome dog. I've struggled some with having her stop jumping up at people, and to channel her enthusiasm when meeting people in a better way. It seems like age is sorting it out though, and it was great to see how she didn't jump on any of the guests last night, and how she settled with pressing up against their legs and wagging her tail. I was a proud doggy mama last night.

Something I could really need is advice on activities to do with my dog indoors. It's not that I don't want to go out, but now once it is starting to get hot during the days we can't go out. Her walks will soon have to be reduced to early morning and late night, and I need ways to entertain her in between. It's not that she becomes difficult or anything if she doesn't get properly activated, since she usually just goes to sleep, but I hate the idea of her being bored. She hates the heat too, I can tell, and I know that as it gets hotter she will become less and less active, unless I find fun ways to entertain her inside where there is air condition. She is going to love D.C, because even though summers over there are HOT and crazy humid, it is nothing compared to the heat here. I can't even explain it.

No... I can do this. I can.

I was going to let the last post me my last one for today, but then I decided that I would try to cheer myself up a little bit first. It is Friday after all, and I didn't want to feel all stressed and down and all that. So, what did I do? I went into my picture collections and opened up the folder containing pictures from last summer. Last summer I went to D.C, but I left Beily here with a friend for 2 months. Almost 3. I missed her so much, but since that time I was planning to return to Mexico again, I made the decicion to leave her here while I was away. I didn't want to make things harder than they had to be for her, but unfortunately it turned out I made the wrong decision. I missed her to death, and by the time I got back she had lost so much weight that I barely recognized her. It was awful. My roommate was supposed to take care of her, it had been the deal since before we adopted her, but she ended up dumping her with a friend of hers. Unfortunately. That friend is a good guy, and I am sure he gave her water and food and everything, but she was also kept outside the whole summer with little or o human contact. Beily tends to get really depressed when I go away and leave her with someone, which is why she probably didn't eat as much as she usually does, which would explain the weightloss. That, or the extreme heat. My point is - leaving her last summer, now when I know how it turned out, is the one thing I will always regret. What is worse is that I know she would probably end up living a similar life if I would leave her here again, or if I would give up my struggle to bring her with me. ...Do you see why I could never do that? I won't let her down again, not this time.

Seeing those pictures from last summer reminder me of this, and even though it definitely doesn't take the stress away (it makes it worse, in fact), it also inspires me. I can do this, and I will do this. I can't take my friends with me but I am taking Beily. Another thing about looking at the pictures was that I saw some I took of three dogs I dog sat for a couple of weeks last summer, and I remember how awesome D.C is for walking around. I can't wait for Beily to get a chance to explore the streets and parks of D.C with me. There are so many different paths we could take, so many parks to go to where we could meet other dogs and dog owners. It would be amazing. Yep, I feel better now. 

Change is good. I was reminded of that through a comment, and I know it's true. Change is good. The picture posted here above is from last summer, and the dogs are two of the three dogs I was looking after for a while I hope Beily gets to meet them this summer. She would have absolutely loved that.

Fear.

I just realized that I am scared. There is so much change in my nearest future, so many decisions, so many things that can go wrong... and I am afraid now. All the best friends I have ever had in my life are people that I have met down here in Mexico, and my best friend - who is like my brother, is here too. I had hoped that we would be leaving together and that we would go off on adventures together, but due to some circumstances he will need to post-pone his trip. Sure, he can catch up later or I can go back, but it scares me to think that I will have to depart all by myself, and leave everything that I have here. Another thing that scares me is the idea of my plans to bring my dog falling through. If I have to leave everything I have here - she will be all I have, and I need her. My dog cannot replace my friends in any way, but I need her with me as a reminder of everything I have down here. I can't put a leash on my friends and make them come with me, but I can put a leash on my dog.

My planned departure for the US is only 2 months away, and perhaps it is that realization that is freaking me out now. I wish there was a way to magically transport myself and my belongings to wherever I plan to go (D.C in this case), so that I wouldn't have to worry about something going wrong. I'm not sure yet where I will get the strength to leave from, it will be so hard, but I know I have to. There are still so many things I want to do and see before I settle down somewhere. The hardest thing is that I feel I will be letting people down if I leave Mexico, and in the same time I feel I will be letting my family down if I don't visit them. How do you please everyone? How do you deal with having people you love scattered all over the planet? Yes, I am having a bit of travel hysteria (and a headache).

This morning I took a walk with Beily, and she threw up on the sidewalk. When we got home she threw up a couple of times more, but besides that she seemed pretty calm, which is why I decided to wait rather than to rush her to the vet. I figured she must have eaten something unsuitable during her run-arount at the park. I hate it when my dog is sick or feeling bad - it just makes me wish I could help her somehow. She seems a lot better now though and she finally ate her breakfast, but still. Overall I am feeling strangely sad today... without really knowing why. I guess I am just feeling a little bit overwhelmed by all this... and also it is starting to get so much more real than it was before. I just want everything to work smoothly... hopefully I'll feel happier and more relaxed about it tomorrow. I think it's getting to me, the stress, but in the same time I know what I want and what I need to do.

Having a Dog = Changes

Lots of things have changed in my life since I got a dog. To be honest I had always wanted a dog of my own, and in one way or the other I had always planned for getting one sooner or later, but I think I never realized how many changes that would come with having a dog. I'm going to dedicate this post to some of the changes Beily has made in my life, and trust me, there has been quite a few.

• Planning ahead has never been my thing, and I have always been more of a spontaneous person. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. And if. Being spontaneous is great to a certain point, but it is also good sometimes to stop and really think things through. Since Beily moved in with me I can't be as spontaneous as I used to be anymore, not when it comes to trips and staying out of the house all day long. If I want to do that now, it means I need to find someone who can take care of my dog for me. That usually isn't a problem, but it still forces me to stop and think twice, and also to slow down a little in my daily life. I am a restless person, and having a dog has helped me to overcome some of my restlessness and to enjoy the moment and the present more than before.
• Get out and moving. I am unfortunately a lazy person by nature, and I have never enjoyed any kind of physical activity besides walking. Walking is something I have always loved, but having a dog has forced me to do it frequently, rather than to just sit on my behind all day pretending to be doing something important. I take about 3 good walks with Beily every day, plus a few walks around the block or trips to the park next to my house, and if I don't - I feel awful. This has helped me to create a routine which has actually led me onto wanting to do more exercise..! It's funny how when you start doing one thing, it leads to you wanting to do more things. I now do Yoga every morning, which is a huge step for me.
• Read product labels. This might sound silly, but having a dog has made me more aware of what is in the products that I buy, both for her and for myself. Now, for example, I only buy plain yogurt with no added sugar OR sweeteners (before I would always choose the Light products) so that I can share some with my dog with a clear conscience, I buy natural peanut butter with no strange additives to use for her Kong and I eat more fish and veggies since I usually buy that for her anyway (for treats and such). Over all my food habits have improved from having a dog, and even though I started out reading mostly dog food labels (when searching for the right choice) - I now read the labels on almost everything that I buy, and I try to go for the cleaner/healthier options. I have become more aware.
• Becoming more independent. I guess you could see that two ways though, but let me explain my point here. I have always been the kind of person who thinks of others before myself, and who are pretty dependent on other people. Whatever they wanted to do worked for me. Having a dog has made me more relaxed in that aspect, and I no longer feel lost and forgotten if I don't go out with my friends one day, or if they would happen to go for coffee without me. I am now pretty happy to be at home too, quite honestly. My dog has helped me find balance where I take the will of others into consideration, but without losing track of what I myself might want. It is a pretty liberating feeling, quite frankly.

Those are some of the things that having a dog has changed for me, and I think they are all good things. At least for me. I knew there would be changes the day I decided to get a dog, but the changes that it has brought with it isn't necessarily the ones that I had predicted. It is funny to me how almost all my friends think of her as a burden, since I have to organize someone to look after her when I go out of town, since I sometimes have to go home from a social gathering just to feed her and other things like that, but what if those things aren't burdening to me? I am totally fine with all those small sacrifices or adjustments to my daily life, and I think it has done me lots of good. What are the changes you feel your dogs have brought into your lives? I am sure you have a ton of examples.

So Many Thoughts

I still find it quite peculiar that there are people out there who do things for others just in order to be nice. Incredible, isn't it? It shows that there really is hope for this world after all. So far so good with my summer plans, and the person I am talking to regarding driving from AZ and over to D.C seems pretty serious about it, but of course I still worry that it could be too good to be true. I'm having the most amazing time down here in Mexico too, as if universe is testing my decision to leave. It's funny though, because the more of a great time I have, the more sure I get that it is time for me to leave. It is going to be awful to leave everything that I have here, but time really flies and I need to live out some other dreams as well, before potentially settling down somewhere. I don't really think of it as leaving either, but more like I am going away for a while. I need to visit my family, since I haven't seen them in what will soon be 3 years..! It makes me feel bad. Not so much because I miss them (even though I do, obviously), but more because I'm afraid they will think that I don't think about them, or that they're not important to me. For that reason I really need to go see them soon.

Beily is one happy dog. I love when she has this look on her face, and it's mostly reserved for when she gets to play Fetch. My family has never met her, but I hope that they will. Soon. First step is for my second family (I'm not related to them, but I feel like they're my family too) in D.C to meet her. The kids will love her, I know they will, and she will love them back. Beily has always been very gentle around kids, even though she used to be a hyperactive monster (as in I-love-you-so-much-please-let-me-be-all-over-you) with the rest of the world in her younger days. Now she has cooled down with everybody and you can tell she has matured a lot during the past 6 months, but with kids she has always been very sweet and calm. There are 3 little kids waiting for us in D.C, and something tells me it's going to be an awesome summer if all of this works out. I can't wait to get there now. So close.