No... I can do this. I can.

I was going to let the last post me my last one for today, but then I decided that I would try to cheer myself up a little bit first. It is Friday after all, and I didn't want to feel all stressed and down and all that. So, what did I do? I went into my picture collections and opened up the folder containing pictures from last summer. Last summer I went to D.C, but I left Beily here with a friend for 2 months. Almost 3. I missed her so much, but since that time I was planning to return to Mexico again, I made the decicion to leave her here while I was away. I didn't want to make things harder than they had to be for her, but unfortunately it turned out I made the wrong decision. I missed her to death, and by the time I got back she had lost so much weight that I barely recognized her. It was awful. My roommate was supposed to take care of her, it had been the deal since before we adopted her, but she ended up dumping her with a friend of hers. Unfortunately. That friend is a good guy, and I am sure he gave her water and food and everything, but she was also kept outside the whole summer with little or o human contact. Beily tends to get really depressed when I go away and leave her with someone, which is why she probably didn't eat as much as she usually does, which would explain the weightloss. That, or the extreme heat. My point is - leaving her last summer, now when I know how it turned out, is the one thing I will always regret. What is worse is that I know she would probably end up living a similar life if I would leave her here again, or if I would give up my struggle to bring her with me. ...Do you see why I could never do that? I won't let her down again, not this time.

Seeing those pictures from last summer reminder me of this, and even though it definitely doesn't take the stress away (it makes it worse, in fact), it also inspires me. I can do this, and I will do this. I can't take my friends with me but I am taking Beily. Another thing about looking at the pictures was that I saw some I took of three dogs I dog sat for a couple of weeks last summer, and I remember how awesome D.C is for walking around. I can't wait for Beily to get a chance to explore the streets and parks of D.C with me. There are so many different paths we could take, so many parks to go to where we could meet other dogs and dog owners. It would be amazing. Yep, I feel better now. 

Change is good. I was reminded of that through a comment, and I know it's true. Change is good. The picture posted here above is from last summer, and the dogs are two of the three dogs I was looking after for a while I hope Beily gets to meet them this summer. She would have absolutely loved that.